I am the calm type of crazy…
…or so some of my ex-boyfriends have said; but I do not believe them.
However, I am indeed out of my mind for Christ, it is my only kind of crazy.
When you are the middle child, there is an immediate obligation the earth puts on you to be balanced. Especially when your older and younger sisters are like fire and wool; extremely useful individually but highly flammable when near each other. And I have to be water or sometimes ice to be more effective in creating that balance; so we can all somehow get along. This is something I try to do daily in little ways, in every aspect of my life; be as cool as ice.
I was born premature which turned out to be a huge blessing because people basically left me alone. For the better part of my growing life, I looked fragile and no one wanted to ‘play the usual play’ with me. This was perfect for two reasons.
- I quickly embraced and loved the life of a loner. And apparently, this was the escape I needed from peer pressure. No peer pressure to succumb to = multiple teenage victories + un-explainable confidence.
- Bored was never an option for me. Whenever the so called tools (friends, playgrounds, games) to alleviate boredom were out of reach; I was always unaware. Because I was constantly finding and creating ways to entertain myself, another useful life skill for adulthood. It keeps you out of a lot of the usual troubles.
I am also ‘Lazy in Love’. This means I have been more single than in relationships. Alas, it is also a by product of growing up in beautiful solitude; a place where uninterrupted magic happens… even if it is only in your head.
It is however this constant brush with magic that has lead to the exploration of many things one of which is writing. Unfortunately or maybe not, it is in the trying to explain this magic that I believe the ‘calm type of crazy’ misunderstanding happens.
My life is not only about writing things but also about questioning, analyzing, exploring, participating, creating, laughing at and pondering upon things.
All this I have done first in that beautiful solitude and then with the people in my life. So please permit me to share some of these things with you.
And since we can’t have coffee together as friends of the internet probably do; always have a nice drink in your hand when on this blog, I find it makes reading easier.