The Destination is The Starting Point.

My take on Sonya’s picture prompt for Three Line Tales, Week Thirty Eight . I really cracked my brain on this one but it was fun to do. Try it!



My dreams require a crawling out of the shadowy darkness of self doubt.

After which I often take a long fearful walk rife with the nagging possibility of  failure towards the light of clarity; before confidently climbing on top of obstacles with certainty that I can achieve these dreams.

It is from this height, elevated and elated that I begin my journey towards becoming, towards being.


Try…It Will Be Worth It.

via Daily Prompt: Volunteer

It is not what you wish to do in that moment but it might make an ignored person in a crowded room feel less alone, and so you volunteer your smile.

it is not how you planned on spending your evening but your old neighbor lives alone and badly needs to connect with another human being, and so you volunteer your time.

it is not where you want to feel, your day was crappy but your friend has gotten the best news of their life, and so you volunteer your joy.

Life has been unfair, you trust nobody but someone looks deeply into your eyes and wants to make it right, and so you volunteer your love.

Most times, we really do not want to do what is expected or demanded of us, but sometimes we have to try.

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Freedom or Independence?

Another Independence day celebration and I still wonder about the same thing.

The Contained Life

I wonder what the general feeling was in Nigeria on October 1, 1960? We all know there was a huge celebration countrywide thanks to archived footage; but what did it all mean to the individuals celebrating? When they were clinking their bottles of beer, what did they say cheers to?

This year’s Independence day celebration really got me thinking about what must have happened in 1960. Maybe because it has been our cheapest Independence day yet; so it was basically no celebration. Last year, billions of Naira was spent on all the pomp but it was cur down this year to a measly 70 million. My sister who lives in the capital city, Abuja said, the difference was extremely clear; everywhere looked boring and ordinary. The previous year was colorful, noisy and all kinds of decoration were on display. I saw (yes, saw) the silence, all the way from Jos…

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Photo by Wolf Schram


The night after Ella’s Mum’s funeral, an inexplicable fire came to their house and consumed everything.

Except, it didn’t consume everything: hours earlier, a grieving man was seen walking away from a car he had just parked on what he thought, in the dark of night, was an empty street.

Hours later, a bewildered Ella, was pulled out of a very deep sleep, in the back seat of the grieving man’s car by many flashlights aimed at her face… this is why she will never sell the car to you.


My response to the picture prompt from Sonya’s Three Line Tales. if you would like to try it out, click this link


Tingles From The Past

via Daily Prompt: Zing!

I tried it immediately after she said it would be the greatest experience of my life.

“I would do it with you”, she said with her dimpled mischievous smile.

Counting off her fingers, she outlined the procedure.

  1. We will sit on the fence for 30 minutes to an hour
  2. And then jump down to ground

And so it was after an hour of making up stories about ‘The mysterious catzilla, guardian of the dragon egg’, that I heard, “1,2, Jump!”.

Suddenly there was an explosion in my head and I could not tell if it was pain. pleasure or a combination of both.

It felt like a thousand needles were travelling from the sole of my feet to the line that is my spine and back again in rapid succession; all the way marking their trail with their sharp points.

We were both bent over, gasping, and trying to breathe through the pain. Then with the twinkle of a million stars in her eyes, she looked at me and broke out laughing in bits and pieces.

“Awesome isn’t it? So painfully delicious!”, she managed to say as she tried to get through the moment.

Only Sarah could convince me that freezing my legs out in the cold before jumping from a height was the greatest experience of my life. And we had many more “greater” ones after that before adulthood came calling.



Photo Credit Alex Holzknetch via Flickr



via Daily Prompt: Cheat

In life, we cheat.

When telling stories, when telling the “truth”, when “smiling”

Because a little editing never hurt nobody

And skill is a very useful tool.



In death, we cannot cheat.

Because how can you

when it is no longer in your hands

And at this point, skill amounts to nothing.



Featured Image via Flickr


How To SUCCESFULLY Diet and Maintain A Slim Figure In An African Society

First of all, Africa is not a county; but across the continent, we do share some commonalities. We are not unaware of our differences like the many lanugages, traditions and accents we have. But, when speaking about the things we have in common, no one needs any translation.

It is for this reason I can boldly give advice on a continental level because we, the people, will get it.

In other parts of the world, losing weight and maintaining a slim figure is relatively easy. All you have to do is exercise regularly, eat clean (whatever this means) and drink lots of water.

I beg to differ that it is not this easy if you are on the African continent. Even if you are determined to do all of the above, there are some environmental factors that can work against you.

However I am here to tell you it can still be done succesfully with these few tips… But you must proceed at your own risk. And if you are “African” enough, I do not need explain these “helpful” tips too much.

So here it goes. To be a sucess at dieting and weight management, you must:

  • Uproot your mother from your life

You already know what will happen if you look slimmer than what is maternally acceptable. And there is no distance far enough that a care package with fattening food can not reach. So this is the first must, unless you are part of the 0.00000000000000001% of the population that has a mother who can not be bothered.

  • Do not visit your friends or relatives

You will be welcomed with food that cannot be refused without raising eyebrows or gathering looks of disapproval. The only thing that might work in your favor is the economic situation of your country. Is it on the ‘forget cultural expectations, let’s hide our food’ level? Then and only then are you in luck.

  • Do not visit anybody at all

Same reason as above basically, but you may be spared depending on the type of relationship or the nature of the visit.

  • Publicly claim you are a vegetarian and immediately get ostracised

Good luck!

  • Do not care about showing evidence of your new found success, if you have any.

It is unbecoming to remain as lean as you used to be when you were broke. However if you are yet to find any success, you may want to postpone that moment. You may also want to lean yourself out some more so that when the success comes, the weight you gain will balance the equation out and it is a win-win for everyone.

  • Marry a foreigner

This is so that the strange things you do like dieting, gyming, yoga, pilates and other hard to pronounce activities need no explanation.

Alright, I think I had too much fun with this but it was inspired by my mum. As per usual, she came home from a Saturday outing with an assortment of takeaways for me. It was a feast. And I wondered what would happen if I said no because I was on a rigid diet. The imaginary response in my head prompted this post but I know it is not far from the truth.

We all know in these parts, the fear of mom is the beginning of wisdom.

Have a joyful and laughter filled week!

The Daily Shoot #ds387 - Illustrate the word equality today with a photograph that shows your favorite interpretation.

Four-way stop at a four point intersection.  I played quite a bit with post-processing and might of overdone it, but I liked how the word stop popped off of this one.

Daily Prompt: Ghost

via Daily Prompt: Ghost

A four points intersection lies on the most popular highway of my town. And I did not know many travellers walked that way.

Right in the middle of the intersection I stood, lost in the sea of people, moving here and there. And I wondered what i was doing there. I also wondered why I had never noticed this world of pedestrians.

Then she tapped me, but it felt like a whisper in my ears and she said, “Welcome ghost, you are one of us now.”


Image via Flickr


Joke: One Word, So Many Faces.

via Daily Prompt: Joke

Merriam-Webster’s definition

Joke :

  • something said or done to cause laughter
  • a brief story with a surprising  and funny end
  • someone or something not taken seriously

Real Life applications


  • a back handed insult
  • a derogatory comment that wasn’t meant to get to the person it was intended for
  • recording someone naked without their consent and posting it online
  • an explanation for racist actions
  • an excuse for meaness
  • a reason for bullying

The Contained Life’s definition


  • If every one involved is not genuinely laughing at the end of it, it cannot be a joke



Image vis Flickr


Copy (2) of fancy-alphabet-letters-8

W Is For Wisdom As It Is For Woman

The question was very simple and the already confused audience frowned in response. It was a miracle they didn’t storm out of the room yelling, “No! Stop! We give up!”

The truth is Nigerians are used to linear learning and I am a proud rambler. You need to just connect the dots when I am expressing my thoughts on an issue and God bless you if it is something I am passionate about. And unlucky for this audience, on that day, there was going to be no middle ground in my talk.

At this forum where the above mentioned audience was seated,  I was speaking about being a woman in a patriarchal society and the deal was to crack open very closed minds. I first argued with the philosophical side of things then I dove into the Christian side. This is a major crutch for people that do not want equality between women and men; so they twist religion to justify their stand and I was going to challenge that stand.

The first question was, “How many of you have heard preached in your church multiple times that wisdom in the bible was given female attributes, called a she and described as a woman?”

Not a single hand went up.

Then I followed up with, “How many of you have heard preached in your church, multiple times, that the ideal role of a woman is to submit to her husband?”

All hands went up including mine.

After which I asked why there is such an imbalance in teaching about what should be the makeup of a woman, especially when the bible takes time to talk about these things. I also wondered why the church doesn’t see how beneficial it is to use what the bible says about wisdom to encourage women to be wise. And it is more confusing, considering these are the group of people expected to uphold the moral fabric of the family.

It is indeed baffling not only because of the immense benefits of wisdom clearly written in the bible; it is akin to finding life.

Proverbs 8:35-36, “For whoever finds wisdom, finds life and obtains favor from the lord but he who sins against wisdom wrongs his own soul; all those who hate wisdom love death”.

These are pretty strong and set words for embracing wisdom so why doesn’t the church encourage it. And if we are doing things by the book, then why not encourage women to embrace the attributes that wisdom offers especially since wisdom is identified as female.

Another under-told story in the bible, is that of Huldah in 2 Chronicles 34. The good king Josiah had found a book lying neglected in the temple and who does he send it to with a delegation to be verified as the book of the law, the prophet Huldah, wife of Shallum (v. 22). She is basically the first bible verifier/interpreter.

I truly feel if it were up to some pastors, they would rewrite this chapter.

In their version, the story written would begin with Huldah being the good and submissive wife that she was, going to her husband first and consulting with him. She would ask his permission to speak of what she knew; like the good humble wife she was. And he would in turn say, “Go ahead wife, bring honor to my name”, then she would reply to the delegation saying, “with my husband’s permission, let me tell you what I know…”.

Honestly I got exhausted writing that out. This is what some pastors would love to preach but since the bible can’t be rewritten, it is all together an abandoned topic.

On a side note, Huldah’s husband’s occupation or rank in society wasn’t mentioned but it was noted that he was the grandson of the keeper of the temple robes. This makes me wonder a lot.

What the story of Huldah tells me however, is that in marriage there is a place for submission as there also is a place for independence. Submission probably has to do with the decision making for the family (I’m guessing since I am not married) which makes sense because every outfit should have a leader.

Independence has to do with making the most of the gifts, talents and abilities in you, since you alone are going to answer (and answer you must) for the use or misuse of it. Again, this is not something preached to women because in our society, right next to the fear of hell is the fear of giving women a voice.

The argument is when you give a woman a voice she becomes disrespectful, arrogant and forgets her place. Yep, the word ‘place’ has been used countless times to my hearing.  It is a miracle we do not have women walking about extremely dizzy from being bombared about not knowing their place; all because we have an opinion or want to contribute.

Still, nobody knows where this place is or what we are meant to do there. But one thing is clear; silence built the foundation and walls of this place.

This directly contradicts what I understand wisdom to be according to the book of Proverbs. Wisdom is everywhere calling out, raising her voice in invitation because of the life in her words. She instructs, corrects, rebukes, teaches and gives knowledge.

Even the virtous woman in Proverbs 31 (a darling favorite of Nigerian Pastors) is not a silent bystander, vs 26, “When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instruction with kindness.”

Silence and submission is what as women we are encouraged to embrace as our lives motto but this is not God’s standard for us. He also wants us to be wise, kind, full of knowledge, gracious, loving and a host of other things. Most importantly he wants us, male or female to make the most of the gifts he has give us.

Light is meant to be on a lampstand and shine for the world not hidden under a bushel; it has no function in that manner… under the bushel – Matthew 5:14-16

This is my understanding of who I am meant to be as a Christian woman and I am sticking to it .


You may also want to read my long post on How to survive a patriarchal society as a woman and get the picture of the other side of things.