Most times, when people are asked the thing they do not like most or cannot stand in other people, they say lies. And I wonder how people can say that boldly when we all lie in different shapes, sizes and forms.
I know, I know some of us never tell lies; we just exaggerate a bit when telling stories for effect and to be more entertaining *wink*. But some of us have the occasional ‘slip up’, it is called being human. My most deliberate lies however, are told when I am fending off a guy. I just do not feel charitable enough to bear with the insistence that comes with that sense of entitlement some guys have. So I lie to crush any hope for possibility.
Lies are mainly told out of fear, research has shown and even people for whom lying has become a sickness and sort of second nature; it is usually as a result of the fear of the exposure that comes with truth. This fear is very real, heavy and sometimes debilitating. So instead of facing our fears, overcoming them with the truth that sets free, we respond with a lie. This is a struggle most of us intentionally try daily to overcome.
And it is for this reason, this fear, that I believe we should forgive people that lie to us more easily than those that commit other crimes against us. It is actually an act of kindness and one acknowledging our very shared humanity.
Do not get me wrong, forgiving a person doesn’t mean you have to keep them in your life. For that, you need to judge for yourself, the weight of the choice they made against its effect and consequences.
I have regretted keeping some liars in my life after forgiving them. These are the ones who refused to admit to their lie after they were caught red-handed. And these are the category of liars I would emphatically say, do away with immediately. Cut them out of your life because they believe you are not smart enough to find them out and would not feel the need to stop telling the lies they know are very damaging. So cut them off! Or at least keep them at arms length, this might actually help them long term.
Now the group of people I absolutely cannot stand are disrespectful people. Nothing irks me like a disrespectful person. Liars are universally liars, they would lie to their mother, father,brother, lover, in fact, they would even lie to God without blinking or at least feign ignorance about the truth to him. But disrespectful people are very selective and they do not disrespect everybody. They only do that to people who as we say here in Nigeria, ‘dey don see finish’, and that is what gets me the most.
Disrespectful people feel they have calculated the whole sum total of your life and will treat you with the measure they feel you are worth. Mind you this measure they use, is against the measure of what they think of themselves. So they weigh you against themselves, according to their standards and find you falling short.
My question is, who made them the standard?
Its true the ‘world’ has put things out there as the true worth of individuals based on beauty and wealth. But we all have to make our choices, don’t we?
And we have. The funniest thing I hear when people want to establish themselves after feeling disrespected is by saying, “Do you know who I am?”. As if the disrespect wouldn’t have happened if the totality of who they are was known, even though it is that same ‘assumed’ totality by the other party that led to the disrespect. Confused? I know, its how I feel whenever I witness that kind of situation.
Unfortunately, even though they are still my worst kind of people, I have lived long enough to realize that disrespectful people are the most insecure people; but my sympathy hasn’t fully matured enough for me to want to bear with and still hang around them. They usually pick on people they feel are beneath them to feel better about themselves. Or they get a ‘high’ out of trying to pull down confident people who they feel in a materialist sense, have no reason to be confident.
Disrespectful people are definitely on my avoid-list of 2016, I do not like the negativity and dehumanization they carry with them. It is easier to avoid them to Facebook, thanks to the unfriend button (unfollow is the coward’s way out).
I know there are people that commit more heinous crimes in the world but on an everyday level, disrespectful people get me the most.
What kind of people will you try to avoid or de-clutter from your life in 2016 or will you just let the love of Christ dwell richly in you as you embrace everyone equally?
I would love to live out the second option but I am not there yet.